


Love Endurance

by pjlover666, Skylar_Matthews



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: M/M, Violence, domestic abuse, happy end, noncon, trying to overcome it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 22:04:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13622436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pjlover666/pseuds/pjlover666, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylar_Matthews/pseuds/Skylar_Matthews
Summary: After Prowl and Jazz's creation has an accident things turn around and Jazz has to learn how to manage the situation.





	Love Endurance

**Author's Note:**

> Pjlover: Of all the oneshots we have, I don't know why I chose this one to post :D  
> This is a oneshot that will contain domestic abuse and it may trigger some readers. Please be warned. Read the additional tags.   
> Also, I would like to point out that this is _fiction_. In NO way, shape or form is domestic abuse okay. What you'll read isn't the "correct" way to handle things. It's actually the /exact/ opposite. This was written for fictional purposes and because it is /fiction/ it has the wonderful option of 'happy end' (and a fixable problem that has a solution).   
>  Enjoy :D
> 
> Not beta'd, sadly.

  
For the first time in his life Jazz wanted to die.

It was unbearable to exist in a world where your creation was dying and you were helpless to do anything. Where all you could do was wait and pray the delicate little frame of your sparkling was strong enough to survive poison.

Jazz didn’t dare blink. Every time he blinked he pictured the tiny offline form of their creation, passed out in a puddle of its own purge. Primus. _Primus_. He could still remember how that little spark kept growing around his own; the thought of that spark fading made Jazz want to fade alongside with it.  
How could he have allowed this to happen?! This was his fault! 

“Prowl!” Jazz cried the moment he spotted his mate and ran up to him, hugging him. “ _Oh Prowl_.”

Prowl hurried to him and held Jazz. “What happened? Where is our creation?”

"The medic are still working on him." Jazz said, shaking. He didn't even feel he was crying, beside himself with worry, "Prowl, if something happens to him..." His voice faded into static. "This is all my fault. It's my fault." He cried.

“You still have yet to explain to me exactly what happened. Why does he even need medical attention at all?”

"We were playing in the living room." Jazz started to explain, words laced with static. "And then it got time for his energon. He was so peacefully playing with his toys that I left him alone for a few moments. I don't know how but he found the liquid we use to clean the washracks and drank it." He pressed a hand to his mouth, reliving it again. "He started purging violently and by the time the medics arrived he wasn't moving anymore."

Prowl’s frame went rigid as Jazz spoke, alarm growing in his field at each word. “How could that even happen? Why would you have the cleaner where he could get to it?”

"I must've forgotten it." Jazz said, upset. "He's just barely started to craw. I didn't... I didn't think. It's all my fault. Primus... Primus, if something happens to him..."

“Yes,” Prowl said after a long pause. “This is your fault if anything happens.”

It took everything out of Jazz not to crumble right there on the spot but thankfully the medic chose that moment to come out. He recognized Jazz from having spoken with him earlier and assumed the mech next to him is his mate.  
  
"He's stable, for now." The medic started carefully. "We'll have to keep him in the ICU for overnight. Any shift in his condition could cause his spark to flicker out. We managed to stabilize it but it's..." The medic hesitated. "I want you to prepare yourselves in case the worst happens. We'll know more tomorrow."  
  
"...what do you mean 'prepare ourselves'?!" Jazz exclaimed, frantic. "Is our sparkling going to live or not?!" Primus, he felt faint. No, no, no, no....  
  
"I'm not saying anything." The medic said quietly. "Just that we're not in the clear yet."  
  
Jazz pressed his hands over his spark as he felt _pain_. "Oh Primus..."

Prowl was frowning and his wings were tilted down. “Is there anything that will increase his chances?”

"No. We just have to wait for him to pull through." The medic said gently. "If you both have questions, you have my number." He looked at Jazz "Excuse me."

Just then the doors opened and a berth was pushed out. Jazz cried out and ran, almost collapsing once he saw his creation hooked up to so many machines. 

They were told visitors weren’t allowed in the ICU so they only had a small glimpse of their creation before he was wheeled away, leaving them alone in the corridor.  
  
"Prowl...” Jazz whimpered as he turned to look at his mate. "Oh Prowl...." He started crying. "Our sparkling..."

“I suppose all we can do now is go home and wait.” Prowl’s tone was empty and he turned immediately. “Let’s go, Jazz.”

"No. We can't leave." Jazz reached for Prowl, gripping his hand and feeling it shake. Wait, _he_ was shaking. "We can't go home. We have to wait for Redwing to wake up."

“And we can do nothing until the morning. We are leaving now.”

"No, I don't want to leave him." Jazz argued, desperate. "It's my fault he's here. He's so alone and afraid. We have to stay. How can you want to leave? Prowl!"

“Because there is no purpose to us remaining here.”

"…No purpose?" Jazz repeated, sad. "Love, our sparkling is here..."

“And we cannot even see him until the morning so there is no reason to remain here.” Prowl grabbed Jazz’s arm and started to pull him away.

"Prowl, I can't." Jazz whimpered. "My creation... I need to be near him." He tried to get out of his grip. "Love..."

Prowl did not relent. “You will not be near him anyway. We are leaving.”

It was the most difficult thing he did. But since he was pretty much useless here, he decided to listen to his mate who refused to let go of him. They even used the public transport to get to their home, which was a good idea - Jazz didn't feel like he was capable of driving.  
  
Though Jazz managed to hold a stoic front until they reached their house and he heard how _quiet_ it was. "Please, please tell me he's going to be okay." Jazz turned to his mate. "Love, I will /die/ if he... if he... Primus." His spark gave a painful throb again.

“You would deserve it too,” Prowl replied. “How could you ever be so careless?”

"I know, I know." Jazz started pacing. "Our sparkling. Our beautiful, sweet little sparkling. Primus. I want to die. I can't...."

“Jazz, stop.” Prowl’s tone was cold, empty. “Come here.”

Jazz stooped in his pacing and gave Prowl a concerned look. His mate always locked his emotions when afraid.  
  
"... It's-it's going to be okay, love." Jazz said, trying to convince himself as well as he went to hug Prowl. "Our creation is strong." It was difficult not to start crying again.

“Let us hope so after how you failed to care for him properly,” Prowl replied. “You are a horrible mech for letting him get hurt.”

"...I'm sorry." Jazz mewed against him, shuttering his visor. He squeezed him. "Oh Prowl..."

Prowl pulled back and slapped him suddenly, striking Jazz right on the cheek much to the other’s shock.

That has never happened before.

“Stop that. You do not deserve comfort after what you did to our sparkling.”

Jazz froze, pulling back, one hand on his face as he just stared at him. ".... You hit me." He whispered, shocked.

Prowl stared back and seemed just as shocked when he spoke. His hand was even still hovering in the air. “I… Jazz, I- I don’t know what came over me. I didn’t- You know I would never do that intentionally.”

Jazz stared at him with a pained expression as he went to hug him. "... It's okay. I... I deserve it. It's okay, love." He whispered, shaking. "Everything is gonna be okay."

“I hope so,” Prowl replied. He gingerly wrapped his arms around Jazz too. “I don’t know what I’ll do if our creation doesn’t recover.”

"Neither do I." Jazz whispered and buried his face in Prowl's plating.  


* * *

  
Thankfully, none of their fears came true and in two orns Redwing woke up. They managed to bring him home after two more.  
  
Everything was going well until Jazz broke a glass and then something else happened.

"What happened in here?" Prowl demanded a short time later as he entered the room. He had Redwing in his arms but shifted him to one side as he stopped and looked around. "It sounds like you broke something."

"I was washing the cubes when I pushed one." Jazz replied as he kept gathering the pieces and glanced at them. "Did I wake him?" He asked, concerned.

"Thankfully not," Prowl replied. "He was already online before you broke that cube."

Jazz nodded and finished gathering up the broken pieces before giving them a smile and going over. "How's my little mech feeling this orn?" Jazz asked gently as he brushed the sparkling's helm. Redwing was still weak and on medical grade but he was improving. It was a miracle he had no deficits.

Prowl pulled back and turned so Redwing was shielded from Jazz before he struck him across the face again. "How dare you touch him? You could have cut him. Did you even check that you had gotten all the glass off your hands?"

Shock flared again in Jazz's field as he raised a hand to touch his cheek again. This is the second time Prowl had struck him. The first one he understood. But the second one...  
  
"...Of-of course." Jazz said quietly, hand still on his cheek. "...You didn't have to hit me. I won't hurt him."

"Except for letting him drink poison."

Jazz shuddered, pain flaring in his field at the reminder. Not that he could ever forget...  
  
Prowl was right. He let the slap go by. "...Want me to put him to rest?" He asked gently and reached for the sparkling again.

"I have him," Prowl told him. "Finish cleaning up and then you may join us."

Jazz nodded and watched as the two left the kitchen, leaving him alone.   


* * *

  
Though when Prowl struck him a _third time_ , Jazz decided to confront him.   
  
"...You hit me for the third time." Jazz said to Prowl after he recovered from the shock, cheek still stinging. "For not cleaning up his toys when I said I would do it later." His voice was quiet.

"They are a hazard and if one of us trips while carrying him there is no guarantee that he will not be severely harmed during the fall." Prowl's tone was calm but had an undercurrent of irritation tinged with anger. "And that is assuming that he remains in our arms for the fall."

"...you didn't have to /hit/ me." Jazz told him quietly. "It hurt."

"You have been incredibly careless lately," Prowl retaliated. "If it takes that to remind you to be more careful so you do not hurt him again then I will. I will not see our creation that close to offlining again."

Jazz hesitated, shifting where he stood. "...You can't hit me, love. It's not right." A part of his processor knew he deserved it but another part said it was _wrong_.

"Do you think I enjoy doing so?" Prowl questioned in return. "I hate that you force me to do it."

"...I force you?" Jazz asked confused before shaking his helm. He wanted the subject dropped. "...Never mind." 

With that they went on.  


* * *

  
Until it happened _again_. And this time there was energon coming from his nasal ridge.   
  
"Prowl!" Jazz called, the door to their sparkling's room closed so he didn't hear them. "What is wrong with you?!" He shouted, face still stained. "You can't hit me for-for I don't even know why you hit me now!"

"You left the washracks a mess." Prowl's wing were high though not quite in anger or threat pose yet. "You even left an open bottle of cleanser on the floor. Are you trying to poison our creation again?"

It was then that things started to slowly make sense to Jazz. Prowl still hadn't forgiven him. Not Jazz had forgiven himself as well but...  
  
"...You can't hit me." Jazz quietly. "I swear I will beat myself up for what I almost did for the rest of my life but you /can't/ hurt me. Not like this."

“You deserve to be punished if you do wrong,” Prowl argued. “And endangering our creation is the worst kind of wrong.”

"Do I? And what if our creation does something wrong? You gonna beat him up too?" Jazz snapped.

Prowl’s wings shot up in anger. “Of course not! What sort of glitch would hurt a youngling?”

"What sort of glitch would hurt their mate?!"

“So now you are calling me a glitch when it was /you/ who almost killed our sparkling?”

"Stop it!" Jazz shouted, upset. "How long are you going to use that argument to justify you hitting me?!"

“How long are you going to continue to make stupid mistakes that threaten our creation’s life?” Prowl demanded.

"That's it. If you hit me one more time I'm taking Redwing and you'll never see us again!" It was a bluff. Jazz loved Prowl too much to ever break up their bond. But had to make the other see that this was _wrong_.

“You are not going to take my creation!” Prowl was suddenly on his feet and stalking closer to Jazz. “You nearly killed him. He would not be safe with you.”

"It was an accident!" Jazz stood his ground even if he started shaking. "If you do not change the way you act then you'll leave me no choice! I won‘t have him grow up around with such a role-model!"

“And he wont grow up at all around you.” When Prowl reached Jazz, he shoved him backwards. “Even if, by some miracle, he does survive you then his only role model would be a mech who lets sparklings drink poison. I will not stand for it.”

"What happened with you?" Jazz winced and pushed Prowl back. "You couldn't hurt a fly and now you keep hitting me! Did you stop loving me?! Just... Prowl, _wake up!_ "

Prowl caught Jazz’s wrists and shoved him backwards until he hit a wall. “What happened to you?! The mech I loved would never have been so stupid to almost kill our creation and yet you tried. Then you threaten to steal my creation?”  
  
Prowl released one of Jazz’s wrists but only so he could ball his hand into a fist. Then he punched Jazz in the abdomen. “You deserve this. You deserve to be punished for how horrible you have been.”

Jazz coughed, too shocked at first to react before he managed to slap Prowl with his free hand, tearsrunning down his face, "P-Prowl!" He coughed. "Stop!"

Prowl yanked him forward before throwing Jazz to the floor. Then he began kicking. “How dare you! You have no right to attack me when this is all your own fault.”

There were many other ways Jazz could react but somehow he couldn't do anything else but curl up on the floor and yell the other's name between cried of pain, waiting for him to stop.

Prowl only kicked him a few more times before he stopped. Moments after, there was a soft cry from another room. Prowl looked down with a frown. “And now you’ve woken him. That’s just wonderful.”  
  
Prowl did not allow Jazz a chance to speak before he left the room to check on Redwing.

Jazz coughed a couple of times, tasting energon. He shifted, trying to get up and managed to get on his hands and knees, spitting energon. If he called the enforcers, Prowl would surely have leverage. If he ran away with Redwing, Prowl would make sure he never saw him again. But the main problem was... his spark _hurt_ that someone he loved so much would do this to him.

::I will be busy in here for several kliks but you had better have our energon ready soon.::

Jazz coughed again and shook his helm but in the end managed to stagger his way into the kitchen.  


* * *

Later that same night Jazz was gingerly gathering his pillow and blanket to relocate in the living room. "...Are we going to pretend nothing happened?" He asked as Prowl came in the berthroom while folding the blanket.

“What are you doing?” Prowl asked him instead. “We are about to recharge. Why would you be stripping the berth now?”

"I am stripping _my_ part of the berth. You can enjoy recharging alone." Jazz muttered as he stared to limp his way past Prowl, wincing as everything hurt.

Prowl frowned as he watched him go. He glanced at the berth before at the door, then he followed Jazz. “And just what makes you think you can just do whatever it is that you want without even consulting me?”

Jazz dropped the stuff on the couch and turned to glare at the other even though he couldn't stop the tremors of his frame. "Why? Gonna kick me again?" Without thinking he raised a hand to his midsection and winced.

"You hit me," Prowl reminded him. "After you caused a problem to begin with. That is not my fault. You were the problem."

"...I slapped you to get some sense in your help." Jazz gave a soft gasp as he sat on the berth. "...You were brutal with me. Wake up. I want the old Prowl back. Go away."

"Jazz, you are being unreasonable. I am right here." Prowl settled onto the couch beside him. "Who else could I possibly be?"

"...A mech that hits me." Jazz whimpered. "It hurts..."

“I do not mean to,” Prowl said. “You just do such stupid things and make me so angry I do not notice myself doing these things until they have happened.”

"....What am I supposed to do?" Jazz asked quietly looking at Prowl sadly. "Just let things go on as if you weren't kicking me on the ground?"

“What do you intend to do?” Prowl asked after a moment. “I will not stop you if you decided to leave.”

"Don't be absurd. I'm too in love with you to leave." Jazz said, resigned. "That's just it. I love you so much that I'm willing to look away. And that's... that's not okay. Do you know how much you could hurt me like this?" He asked gently.

“That is a stupid reason to stay if you are being injured,” Prowl countered. “I do not know what it is about your failures that upsets me so. The only way it would be safe for you to remain is if you never make another mistake again.”

"...Do you want me to leave?" Jazz asked, afraid. "Do you love me still?" He whispered.

“Of course I do! How could you even ask something so absurd?” Prowl’s wings had shot up in shock and alarm at the question and were still in that position.

"Because you just said I should leave if me loving you is the only reason I stay if you hit me." Jazz said quietly, looking down.

“It is true,” Prowl said. “It is what advice we give to all victims. There is no good reason to remain in an abusive situation.”

"So you admit you're abusing me?" Jazz asked, looking at the other afraid.

“You said I keep hurting you. Once, even twice could be an accident. Unless you are intentionally trying to anger me so that I do hurt you outside of my control, but I do not see why you might be doing such a thing.”

"... I love you too much to leave you." Jazz whispered. "I don’t want to do it. You just... you just have to stop when I tell you, okay?"

“I cannot promise that.” Prowl let his wings stop in apology. “I do not even realize what I am doing until it has happened. I doubt I can control any of it.”

"... I won’t leave you." Jazz promised. "I don't care- _ow_." Jazz winced as reached to hug the other. "Prowler...."

Prowl hesitated but then leaned over and settled his arms loosely around Jazz. “I wish you would make a better choice. I do not want to see that I have hurt you again.”

"So you want me to leave you?" Jazz whispered. "I won’t. I can’t."

“I want you to be safe,” Prowl replied. He drew back and hesitated before gently resting a game over Jazz’s spark. “You and our creation mean everything to me. I never want to see either of you hurt. I would show you if I could…”

"Won’t leave you." Jazz swore and gave a soft sigh. "...help me move back to our berth."

Prowl flicked his wings and nodded slowly. “Alright, love.”

Jazz gave him a small, hopeful smile.

* * *

Jazz wondered if there was a point in going to recharge on the couch. After all, /he/ had agreed to this. It was simply the price of his love for Prowl.

Jazz tried not to breathe hard, chest on fire. His left wrist hurt and his cheek stung as he laid curled on the berth next to Prowl.

There was a sudden touch. Prowl was stroking his cheek and offered Jazz a small smile. "Can't sleep either?" he asked softly.

Jazz winced, balling up more for a moment before he uncurled and shifted to turn and stare at Prowl.   
  
"...No." Jazz whispered.

"Well," Prowl murmured as he moved his hand to run down Jazz's side softly. "Seeing as neither of us can recharge and yet our creation is fast asleep, perhaps we could take this chance to indulge..."

Jazz's visor flared in surprise before he winced when Prowl touched a sore spot. "...I thought you were upset at me." He murmured.

"And why would I be upset at you?" Prowl asked softly. "Did something happen?"

Jazz stared at him, sad as a few tears managed to escape. "... You're really asking me that?" He whispered. "Even what happened before dinner?"

"What happened at dinner?" Prowl asked, actually confused now.

Jazz hesitated and sent the command for the lights to come on, showings his face and lifting the covers to show his frame. "...You really don’t remember doing this?" He whispered, hesitating.

Prowl sat up, frowning and slowly reached out. He stopped before touching his mate though. "Jazz, what happened?"

Jazz stared at him, confused. "...I burnt the energon." He said quietly. "Don't you remember?"

Prowl thought about it for a moment. "It did taste off but I don't remember much after that..."

Jazz didn't know how to respond and after a sad sigh explained. "...The energon was burnt. You said I was trying to upset our sparkling's thanks." He gave Prowl a pained look. "...I can't believe you don't remember..."

Prowl's frown dropped to an absent look as he scoured his memory banks. It returned in full when his focus returned outward. "Fraggit... I was trying to avoid noticing your failings to keep you safe but it seems like the coding patch I wrote only blocks it from my memory..."

"Don't touch the code. You might make it worse." Jazz said quietly. He hesitated. "..What if you go to a code specialist to fix it? Whatever it is that's making you hit me..."

"That certainly is an idea," Prowl agreed softly. "I will look into it."

Jazz nodded, field hopeful. "... Thank you." He hesitated. "...Make love to me?" He whispered. "Please? Touch me without intention of hurt?"

Prowl hesitated but slowly nodded. "Where are you already hurting? I do not wish to aggravate your existing injuries."

Jazz paused before taking Prowl's hand and brushed it over his mid-section, "Here," he murmured, "Here," His cheek, "And here" His left wrist. "...I don’t think it's broken." He tried to reassure.

Prowl was frowning again and his field was distinctly displeased but he gave Jazz a weak smile. "I am so sorry, love..." He leaned in to give him a gentle kiss. "Which style of interfacing would you prefer as a pathetic attempt at apology?"

"As long as I'm not on my front or hands or anything touching my wrist..." Jazz trailed of gently, "...I want you inside me. Gentle. Kind. Loving." He gave a weak smile. "Boring."

Prowl managed a more genuine smile. "I do not mind when your tastes run to the mundane." He pressed another kiss to Jazz's lips. "The simple pleasures can be the most wonderful and you do look stunning during even the most 'boring' interfacing."

"You know I dislike boring you." Jazz murmured even though he wouldn't be able to find a more interesting way to interface. "...I love you." He whispered, needing to hear it.

"I love you too, my beautiful Jazz." Prowl treated him to another kiss. "If I could, I would spend the rest of my life simply indulging you."

Jazz didn't respond. Instead he just pressed for a kiss which was gladly returned.

* * *

"Sire? Why car'ier sad?" The little sparkling trotted over to Prowl.

Prowl reached down and scooped Redwing up onto his lap. "Why do you think your carrier is sad?" he asked.

"Crying in washy." Redwing said, sad. "Sire shouting again at car'ier. Car'ier always cries."

Prowl pulled Redwing close and hugged him tight. "I don't want to yell at him but he does bad things and when you do bad things, you should be punished. It's like when you don't put your toys away and we don't let you play with those toys for an orn."

"Oh. Kay. Love you." Redwing nodded, snuggling close to Prowl. "Car'ier bad?"

"Your carrier just does bad things some times," Prowl explained as he cuddled his creation. "Everyone does on occasion but it is important to not repeat them."

The sparkling seemed to think about that before nodding. "Play with?" He asked, excited.

"You want to play right now?" Prowl asked.

"Uh-huh. Car'ier's too sad to play with me." Redwing explained.

“Of course I’ll play with you, bitlet. What would you like to play?”

The sparkling beamed at him and soon was explaining all the games he wanted to play.  


* * *

They went to see three different code specialists and unfortunately, not a single one found _anything_ wrong with Prowl. They explained his bursts of aggression where simply who he was and not a sort of a glitch.   
  
Jazz refused to believe that.  
  
Prowl before the accident with their sparkling had never laids hand on anyone who didn't deserve it. But that was the problem - Prowl always thought he _deserved_ it.   
  
In the end, Jazz was forced to admit defeat and their life went on.  
  
Prowl got promoted. They moved to a bigger house. Their creation kept growing. And Jazz decided it was time for him to move forward and return to work.  
  
Only Prowl didn’t agree. So naturally they had an argument.  
  
"Sire, please stop!"  
  
What was unnatural was for Redwing to intervene, standing between his creators. He was in his youngling upgrades, resembling so much his sire with his tiny door-wings, a miniature version of Prowl’s.  
  
Jazz was on the ground, shaking and one hand clutching his mid-section, face stinging from the punch so hard it cracked his visor. Energon dribbled from one corner of his mouth.

“Redwing?” Prowl questioned. His tone was angry but the emotion was not directed at the youngling. “What are you doing? Move.”

"No."  
  
It was maybe the first time the youngling had so defiantly said something as he stared at his creator, door-wings fluttering nervously. "Please stop hurting carrier. I'm sure he's really sorry. Please."

“He has yet to say so sincerely,” Prowl replied. “Now move. He did bad and must be punished.”

"But he's hurt." The youngling went to his sire and hugged him. "I don't like when you two fight..."  
  
Jazz for his part stayed unmoving, frame shaking even harder as he selfishly allowed the youngling to fight his battle. Maybe... maybe Prowl will listen to Redwing.

Prowl let his field soften and hugged his creation tight. “I do not like it either,” he said before lifting Redwing up and carrying him to the other room. “But your carrier forces me to do this by not behaving properly.”

"No, sire, please. Carrier'll be good. I promise. Please, I don't want him to cry..."

Redwing hugged his sire, trying not to cry himself.  
  
"D-Don't cry, love. It's okay." Jazz tried to say. "Go play with your toys." It was an effort but Jazz managed to keep the static from his voice as he watched his creation, tasting the energon.

“He shouldn’t do bad if he doesn’t want to be punished,” Prowl replied and made sure his words were loud enough for Jazz to hear too. Then he squeezed Redwing tight again for a moment before setting him down, though he did not release him yet. “You understand the difference between good and bad, right? Bad mechs need to be punished so they will act good again.”

"Yeah..." Redwing said sadly. "But I don’t like it when he's hurt..."

"I do not like that he makes me do it," Prowl confessed to his creation. "That's why I try to make his punishment quick. Will you let me go finish without interfering?"

Redwing brushed some of his tears. "...Okay." he said, sad.

Prowl hugged him again. "You are such a clever bitlet," he praised the youngling. Then he released him and stepped back. He watched for a moment to make sure Redwing would remain and then turned and walked back to Jazz after closing the door.  
  
"Now you've done it," Prowl said. "You've gone and upset our creation." Prowl stalked closer with his wings outspread in a display of anger. "Now you deserve even more punishment."

"...Do you r-realize how _slagged up_ this is?!” Jazz chocked. "We just messed up our creation even /more/. He's now going to grow up thinking it's okay to punish mechs! That's it's okay to hurt others! You're a horrible mech! I should've taken Redwing from you long ago!" Jazz said that out of spite and in pain, both physical and mental.

That made Prowl lash out. He kicked at Jazz as his anger flared. "Don't you dare even think anything like that. You will not steal my creation."

"You don't deserve him!" Jazz cried out, dizzy as he curled up more and trying to protect his middle. "His sire beats his carrier. That's not okay! His sire's a monster!"

Prowl kicked Jazz even harder. "I would not have to do this if you did not force me to do so. I would not have to be this way if you could only stop making so many stupid mistakes all the time."

Jazz cried, trying to shield himself. "How is me working a mistake?!" How chocked out, the energon in his mouth growing.

"Who is going to be here to care for Redwing?" Prowl demanded, still kicking Jazz. "You want us to leave him all alone? How is that not the most irresponsible suggestion in the world?"

Jazz cried out. He wanted to respond but a blow to the helm scrambled his thought process and he forgot what he was going to say as everything blurred and he choked on energon again, vision struggling to stay online.

Prowl kicked him a couple more times before finally stopping. Jazz was no longer arguing him so he must have seen the error of his ways. At least for now.

When the kicking stopped a part of Jazz relaxed which was enough to allow his processor to properly slip offline, unable to get up from the floor or even move for that matter.   
  
Jazz welcomed the darkness.

It was a few kliks later when Prowl’s processor finally righted itself once more and he stared down in terrified shock. He dropped to his knees and quickly plugged into Jazz to ensure he was even online. The low buzz of passive processor activity calmed his spark but only barely. Prowl disconnected and immediately commed for a medical transport. Energon flowed from several spots along Jazz’s frame, worrying the Praxian greatly. His wings only moved further and further into the worried position as time went on.

The transport eventually got there and got Jazz to the medical center. Since there was no one to leave Redwing with, Prowl took him with him and they both waited for the medic to come out.  
  
After confirming Prowl was Jazz's mate the medic got down to business. ::He has a concussion and multiple ruptures to his internals. Luckily nothing major had bled out or he would have offlined.:: The medic said via comms for the sake of the youngling. ::He'll need a new visor but there was luckily no damage to his optics.:: And here the medic hesitated. ::...sir, I'm afraid you'll need to speak with an Enforcer.::

::And why is that?:: Prowl questioned. Redwing was on the seat beside him playing with a datapad but his wings were at attention.

::...his frame is littered with healed wounds. A classic sign for abuse. Please sir, don’t make it more difficult.:: The medic explained. ::It's protocol when it comes to domestic abuse.::

::So you believe I am hurting my own mate?:: Prowl asked. He kept his tone mostly calm though, refusing to offer any fuel to the medic’s suspicions. ::I know the statistics for domestic abuse very well and let me tell you, it is very rarely the abuser who comms for help. Why would they risk their crime being discovered?::

::Sir, I am simply following protocol. As a fellow Enforcer you should understand. When your mate wakes up he'll also be questioned. If everything checks out and he denies you hurting him, there should be nothing to worry about.::

Prowl settled his wings and huffed softly. ::Of course. How long will it be until we can see him?::

::It would be preferable not interact until the enforcer comes and speaks with him.:: The medic explained, hesitating.

::So we do not get to see him then:: Prowl said. ::How long will it be until this enforcer arrives?::

::He should be here within the joor.:: The medic explained before excusing himself.  
  
Just as stated, an Enforcer came and spoke first with Jazz and then with Prowl. The theory of domestic abuse was dropped when both mechs denied it and finally not only were they allowed to see Jazz, but he was discharged on orders to rest.  
  
::...I lied to the enforcer.:: Jazz said quietly outside the hospital, hugging Redwing as they waited for a transport. He wasn't ready to transform yet.

::You shouldn’t have:: Prowl said softly in reply. His tone and wings were both sad but he kept his field neutral so Redwing did not feel it. ::You should not have to suffer because I have some issue that no one can find.::

::You know I won’t leave you. I love you. I don’t care. The only thing I worry is how Redwing is taking this...:: Jazz said sadly. ::...You lied too. You didn't say you were the one who did it.::

::That is only a lie by omission. He did not ask directly enough that I had to truly lie.:: Prowl moved and wrapped his family in a hug. ::I would have confessed if I thought it would do any good but it would not. Jail time and talking to someone over an issue that I do not have would be no help.::

Jazz hugged him back too.   
  
::I wont let that happen:: Jazz swore quietly.

* * *

The vorns went by and somehow Jazz learned how to anger as little as possible that side of Prowl. When he did though, he knew how to easily it back down and sometimes even Redwing managed to help out.  
  
Their youngling grew up into a fine mech that soon was accepted into a good university and seeing him go was maybe one of the hardest things he had ever done.  
  
Then, however, a few orns after their creation had moved out Prowl suggested something he didn't expect.

To have another creation.

The words left Jazz too fast for him to stop them. No. He didn't want to go through that again with another incident like that. He would never forgive himself if he hurt another sparkling.

However Prowl didn't like that answer and the streak of several months with no aggression ended to a rather _brutal_ one.

Prowl was distraught. He even called another set of specialists from Praxus, wanting somehow to correct this behavior. 

Jazz even though it was working until Prowl brought up the subject again. 

"No, Prowl. I don’t want to. I can't. How many times do I have to tell you no?" Jazz asked, cheek still stinging from the blow.

“Why do you think you get to tell me no?” Prowl demanded. “You even said you wanted several creations just as I did and we have waited long enough.”

"Because after I screwed up with Redwing and he almost died...." Jazz shuddered. "No. Just no. Plus, you don't need more reasons to beat me over for."

Prowl huffed and caught Jazz’s wrist so he could drag him through the living room. He continued until they reached the berthroom and shoved Jazz at the berth. “We are not leaving this room,” Prowl said as he slid the door shut. “Not until you have seen reason. I don’t care if that means I need to cuff you to the berth while you persist in arguing.”

"Prowl, my decision is final. I don't... I don't feel ready for another creation. I don't want one." He said more gently. "Please, love. You can't make me. You can't force this. Not this.'

Prowl stalked forwards, towards his mate. His wings were slowly creeping up on his back. “You do not get to change your mind now. You wanted more creations before your failure and we will have more creations. Hopefully, you will not be a danger to the next ones.”

Jazz backed away as the other advanced. " _That_. That is the reason I don't want more creations. And this is my frame - I get to choose what happens to it. Stop it. Or you might as well beat me and get it over with."

Soon Prowl had Jazz pressed against the wall and he put his arms up to prevent him from moving. “No, hurting you will not help this time I think.” He brought a hand to Jazz’s face and traced his cheek down along his jawline. His hand moved then down to rest lightly on his bumper and Prowl leaned in closer. “Pain will make your frame less suitable for a newspark and besides… I want you to enjoy the creation process.”  
  
He pressed a kiss to Jazz’s lips and his hand went up to Jazz’s sensor horns.

Jazz shuddered when the other touched his cheek with unnatural kindness but when Prowl kissed him Jazz realized his intentions and tried to shift away.  
  
"Mm, Prowl, no!" Jazz gasped as the other kept touching him, "Please!" He tried to push him away. "I don't want it like this. Please, please, please love." He begged, trying to shift his helm away.

Prowl’s engine gave a low rumble as he caught Jazz’s helm and forced him to look at him again. “I can make this hurt. Would you prefer that? Is that why you act like such a horrible mech? Do you _like_ when I hurt you?”

"...It would seem that I do, because not even your threat is enough to make me want another creation." Jazz cried, trying to look away. "Prowl, please, if you love me you won't do this. Please, please, please..."

“And if you loved me then you would not be fighting so much,” Prowl’s countered. Then he caught Jazz’s wrists and pulled them together above their helms so he could free a hand. Prowl used that hand to coax open Jazz’s data port and plugged in. The familiarity of the action gained him entry before Jazz could even begin to activate his firewalls and Prowl dove right into access commands in Jazz’s coding. Moments later, Jazz’s chest plating began to part.

Jazz kept crying. He fought at first but knew this was pointless. Prowl was going to merge with him one way or another and he won't stop until he had sparked him.  
  
"...I'd like to see you try and hit me while sparked." Jazz challenged weakly, despite the situation his spark was yearning for its other half.

“You will see just how much you will enjoy having a sparkling in the house,” Prowl said as he pressed their sparks together.  
  
They had not merged for a long time and their sparks felt the same initial joy as ever when they first touched. This time there was an underlying wrongness to it though.

Even though it was the reason for his distress Jazz's sense couldn't help but seek comfort from the other, spark moving deeper into the merge without his consent as he longed for the other.  
  
/Love./ Jazz cried out softly.

/Jazz…/  
  
Prowl’s response was low, weak as if he just woke up. /When did we start merging?/

Jazz's presence embraced him gently. /...When you brought up the subject of creating again and this time you didn't take no for an answer./ He said gently.

Shock turned to horror. /No! Jazz… I- Primus, I never wanted this! Not against your will./

/...it's not rape since we're mates, right?/ Jazz whispered, voice broken. /It's... it's okay. Maybe I won't spark.... we'll overload soon.../

/It is if you didn’t want it. If you said no…/ Prowl mourned softly. /You should report me for this. This has gone too far. If the specialist can’t find anything after this then you need to protect yourself./

Sadness, sorrow and love battled in Jazz's spark but in the end it was _resignation_ that won out and before he could properly respond they were overloading.

"...S'okay." Jazz whispered as his vision flickered on weakly. They were on the ground now, his back still pressed at the wall. "I just... I've learned to live with it. It's... it's okay."

Prowl’s field was a myriad of emotions as he onlined. Eventually it settled on sadness. “You should not have to survive this. You deserve so much better, my beautiful Jazz…”

Jazz didn't know how to answer that, not when he wanted nothing more than the mech before him who was the cause of his grief. 

In the end all Jazz could do was curl his hands around himself and cry.

Prowl hesitated to act but eventually stood and collected the blanket from the berth. He returned and slowly draped it over the shaking frame of his mate. Then he settled in nearby so he was close without forcing his presence on Jazz. He didn’t know if he would be wanted or not.

Though that wasn’t a question for long because soon Jazz shifted and pressed close to the other, basking in his comfort.  


* * *

It was several weeks later from the incident. Both mechs were nothing but wary of any contact between them. Jazz had become noticeably more placate and shy from any sort of contact. Timid was the correct word.  
  
Then one orn everything changed. Again.  
  
"...Wait, you mean... you mean you managed to find out what causes the outbursts?" Jazz whispered, shocked. "Really?"

Prowl nodded. “Apparently, it is a broken logic tree attached to my emotions. The specialist said it seems as though anger tied to your failures and equated it to the threat of our creation fading…”  
  
Prowl looked to Jazz. “It is so convoluted, who would even believe it?”

"My failures..." Jazz whispered before shaking his helm. "Can it be fixed?" He asked, trying to keep the hope out of his voice.

“The specialist seems to believe it can be, and easily at that. I will need to travel to Praxus once more for the procedure but after that I should be cured.” Prowl flicked his wings in suppressed hope. “Would you be interested in accompanying me on the trip?”

Jazz hesitated but nodded, resting one hand over his chest.

The visored mech was silent for a very, very long moment."...Yeah. Plus," He trembled. "Praxus does have some of the best energon for carriers." He whispered, looking down as a few tears escaped.

“True, but why would tha-“  
  
Prowl froze. Then his wings twitched in shock. “Are you…?”

"Well," Jazz lifted his helm and gave him a defeated smile. "That broken logic tree managed to get what it wanted. Yeah. I'm sparked, love."

“Primus…” Prowl breathed softly. “Do… do you regret it?”

"I-I... don't know." Jazz whispered. He brushed his chest. "I _despise_ the way it was created." He shuddered. "But I... don't hate the newspark. It's innocent. And it's an extension of you."

“Will you be alright with me donating energy to you?” Prowl asked.

"Depends. Will you force me to take it when you want?" Jazz asked before he shook his helm again and brushed the tears. "M'sorry. I didn't mean it. I....Yeah. I think I'll manage. You just... you just get fixed. I won't have our second creation witnessing what we showed our first."

Prowl started to reach out but stopped. “I have never planned nor desired to hurt you. I would erase all of it if I could, but I do not have that ability unfortunately.”

"Sometimes I consider going to a specialist but then who would delete all of it, but then I’ll look in the mirror and notice this scar." Jazz touched one on his side, "Or this." Another on his arm. "Or this one... I would always wonder about them and ask questions. No. Erasing won't help." He took a deep breath and stood up, going hesitantly to Prowl.

"...But this is." He whispered, shaking. "After you get fixed, you have to swear to me that you won't ever hit me again. Because if you do, I..." Jazz shuddered. "If you do it again after the procedure, I want you to leave. Because I am weak and I will not be able to do it." He murmured. "I will not allow another creation of ours to think it's okay to hit someone."

Prowl bowed his helm and his wings sank. “I hope we were able to instill in him just how wrong my actions were,” he muttered. “I will never forgive myself for that either if he truly believes violence is an acceptable answer to anything.”

Jazz gave him a sad smile and finally allowed himself to touch Prowl. The other didn't answer his question... and Jazz realized he wasn't ready for that answer. Nor if he'll ever be.  
  
_'I don't want to fear you.'_ Jazz wanted to say, but instead it came out: "When can we leave for Praxus?" He murmured, resting his hand on Prowl's chest.

“The soonest I could get orns free of work was late next week but the procedure cannot be done until the start of the following week,” Prowl explained. “I was thinking that we could go a few orns early and simply enjoy the city for a while. Would you be interested in that?”

"I would love to see where you grew up." Jazz said quietly.

Prowl gave him a soft smile. “I cannot wait to show you then.” Gently, he reached for Jazz and hugged him as if he was the most fragile crystal on the planet.

Jazz gave him a shaky smile and hope kindled in his spark.   
  
Perhaps... things would be different this time.   
  
  



End file.
